I provide couple therapy to couples of different ages and stages of life, and with diverse cultural backgrounds and orientations.
The type of couple therapy I offer is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). It is the approach developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and based on extensive research conducted over the last 25 years on adult love relationships. It has been designated by the American Psychological Association (APA) as an effective therapy for couples and in clinical studies has a 75% success rate.
EFT is for couples who want to improve their relationship and change their cycle of arguing, blaming, silence, distance and frustration to one of greater closeness and connection.
Couples may seek therapy for help with issues such as:
Sexual and intimacy issues
Conflict and distress
Growing distance and disconnection
Or they may seek to enrich their relationship
The American Psychological Association reports that in clinical studies “EFT has achieved an astounding 75% success rate…Results are lasting”.
Dr. John Gottman has written that “EFT is a proven roadmap to the process of change in couple therapy”.
I began my formal training in EFT in 2007 with Dr. Johnson and continue to train extensively in this approach.
Couples come to therapy for help with a variety of issues such as communication problems, unresolved conflicts, ongoing distress and estrangement, issues one or both partners may be experiencing with anxiety, depression, stress or trauma, or a relational crisis such as infidelity.
As a therapist with many years of experience and expertise with this approach, I have helped couples resolve issues such as these and feel renewed closeness and connection.
I will meet with you and your partner for face-to-face sessions, which are generally scheduled weekly or bi-weekly, depending on your preferences.
The first goal in our work together is to identify the patterns that create conflict and distance in your relationship and begin to alter these patterns to decrease the frustration and isolation you may feel. As these painful patterns are identified and triggered less frequently, safety and trust begin to be rebuilt.
If open hostility and anger are a major problem, then learning to recognize and manage intense emotion is a priority. When partners can calm themselves and each other before strong emotions derail their attempts to connect, new and more loving patterns can be established.
Once distressing patterns have been identified, slowed, and are triggered less frequently, the relationship feels more peaceful and some couples may consider ending therapy at this point. However, this is the point where enough safety has been created that it is possible to delve more deeply into your relationship and to create greater closeness and the type of connection upon which lasting change is built.
If a recent affair is the reason a couple enters therapy, the first sessions focus on containing the chaos both partners may be feeling and more frequent sessions may be needed.
Research shows that couples typically seek couple therapy seven or more years after first becoming aware of problems. By then partners desperately want relief as quickly as possible. However, couples therapy requires commitment and takes time. What you can do to facilitate the process is:
Attend regular therapy sessions
View the cost of therapy as an investment in your relationship and your family
Dedicate time between sessions to practice the skills you learn in therapy. Regular practice means you’ll achieve your results in fewer sessions.
Read Hold Me Tight and Love Sense
Even after betrayal, trust can be rebuilt and couples can reconnect.
Are there contra-indications to Couple Therapy?
If violence is an issue in your relationship, then we will not be able to create the safety necessary to resolve your issues. Dealing with the violence issue, perhaps in individual therapy, prior to beginning EFT is recommended.
Contact the office today to book an appointment.